Episodes were originally released daily throughout Off the Shelf Festival of Words, 2020 (23-29 October).
Ep 0.0: Foreword If we’re all going to die alone may as well get used to it. You’ve never heard of Haze Turner and he’s going to keep it that way by f-ing off to a lighthouse and making a postdramatic podcast about it. The series is produced by Doppelgangster. Commissioned by Off the Shelf Festival, in association w. Sheffield Hallam University(UK) and La Trobe University(AU).
Ep 0.1: Prelude
Fourteen people alone in their bedrooms are dramatising events that never happened in a made-up lighthouse. Bad Reputation host, Haze Turner, asks them why that’s a good idea, and if any of them have any particular wishes besides an early end to it.
Ep 0.2: Disclaimer
For legal reasons the show makes various attempts to remove any liability that my be encountered during the work. Then Erica tells us about how she’s been driving her mums car illegally, which seems an inappropriate breach of Erica’s mum’s trust.
Ep 1: The End
It’s not the end. It’s sort of the middle. But it feels like the end. Spoiler: At the end of the episode a ship appears and no-one’s on it. It’s some sort of ghost ship / event horizon. But before it gets ominous it’s a really chilled out episode of two wickies chatting outside an isolated lighthouse. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 2: Flashbacks
This is where the story actually started. Working as a lonely hearts columnist/palliative carer is paying the bills, but it’s not satisfying. Haze goes to a job interview in a building only exists for the purpose of this podcast. This episode has quite a few actors in it as a treat. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 3: Wasted Youth
Helicopter rides. Jumping from helicopters. Pushing people out of helicopters. None of these stunts were actually performed in the development of this episode, but if you can take an imaginitive leap with the podcast it’s much better to listen to. Haze takes up residence on the Lighthouse with fellow novice Charon and old man Gal (who is played by an actor in his early 20s). The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 4: Sharks
Guns. Sharks. A boombox. SPOILER: The intern dies. It’s a bloody dangerous life on the Lighthouse, 200 Miles from nowhere. Not to worry Juggernaut the cat is still fine.The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 5: Fata Morgana
This episode feels familiar because it is. That damned ghost container ship is back on the horizon. It’s ignoring the frantic signalling, is coming to smash into the lighthouse, and there’s nothing to do about that. On the plus side at least it isn’t a cruise ship. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 6: True Rats of the North
The ghost ship has crashed into the rock. The ghost ship was full of rats. Tens of thousands of f*** off ship rats the size of cats. The prudent decision is made by Gal, Charon, and Haze to lock themselves inside the lighthouse. No-one does know where the cat is actually. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 6.66: INTERMISSION
A word from our very real sponsors, we swear: X-Ray Spektakles, Sea-Monkees, and the Polaris Nuclear Submarine. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 7: Lock-Down
There are rats everywhere. Lock the door. Lock the window. Lock yourself in before weird anti-lockdown protestors try to talk to you about the aliens. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 7.77: Nightmare
At a certain point in lock-down, mercury poisoning, and rat seige your sense of time and place really start to evade you. This is a historical fact but rest assured that no effort was spared in replicating the conditions to simulate the exerience. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 8: Utopia
Surviving lock-down means routine. Sleeping pills. Mass halucination. And oh f*ck those god damned rats have broken in through the waste disposal system. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 9: Blackout
You had one job, wickies. One job! Haze, Charon, and Gal have barricaded themselves in the lamproom at the very top of the lighthouse (with Juggernaut the cat). Probably going to die so to hell with it, may as well see what it looks like out here if we don’t turn the light on. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 10: Tourists
A storm rages around the tiny island. It’s been months since California died. Almost a week without medicine or food (not counting the oatmilk from the office bar fridge). Two nights since Gal, Haze, and Charon stopped lighting the lamp. Also, in this episode, the wickies get visitors. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 11: Noah (Of Nowhere)
Wake the hell up! The angels are here! In a military helicopter and they have beautiful voices and speak fluently in romantic languages. We’re saved! Spoiler: We’re not saved.
Coming up TONIGHT!
Ep 12: DXM (Just In Case)
The downed helicopter has started a fire in the lower levels of the tower and it’s climbing steadily. Haze, Charon, and Gal are at the old coin flip between hope and suicide. One is nice as a babies name and the other could be but who would dare try. Haze, Charon, and Gal take matters into their own hands and begin the climb down the perilous iron rungs on the outside of the seventeen and a half story tower. DXM is short for Deus Ex Machina, so, you’d reckon things will turn out alright. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
Ep 13.33: Aftermath
Everybody dies. Or They don’t. Or they already did. You’ve stuck with it haven’t you? This is an episode for saying goodbye to various characters, and inexplicably introducing you to other ones in a bid to distract you from how the narrative completely avoided tying up a number of seemingly key threads. The series is produced by Doppelgangster.
But wait There’s More!!
Ep ∞+1 | Bonus Episodes
Home life for the skeletons in the nightmare episode. Educational lighthouse guides from the Director of the Lights who is probably not Cthulhu. Interviews on process with ‘Shark Victim’ and ‘Drowning Man’ two characters who never made it into the show. All this and more coming mid-November, 2020.